my take on autism and adam lanza.

 anyone who has asperger will have one or two feeling s about it.either it is a gift,or it is a curse.i have,in my extended family a couple of others who have autism.before i begin my deconstruction, i  want to say this....i find what Adam lanza did horrifying,evil.and i can not forgive him.he became evil.but as a person who has autism,i can see mirrored in what we now know of him,something vulnerable,scared.
 i can tell you when you reach 8 grade,and anyone else who has,it is a sea change.for some,coming up through this,they get stuck,for others it is a breeze.for me,having little exterior help to begin with,i never noticed.but,now i can almost see in him,some of my family who have autism.they hit the higher grades,everyone else they know has changed,but,they have not.and it is like trying to gain you breath underwater,but there is something keeping you from breaking through.he stuck his hand out for help,his family,tried to get help,but,as with so many who`s kids have autism  or aspergers no help was given.
 it is hard.your smart enough you have adapted to the world,learned this alien world`s rules,and laws,learned to speak .even to mimic it(and that what people with higher functioning do,they adapt learn mimic,they have a hard time really understanding) ,but not like others,who because there disability is so noticeable,they are helped.those enough clever enough to adapt,are left to our demise.for those,some will break through,as i did.,some will flounder in almost a child like state,and other,well,they go down a dark corner.usually into drugs.but to murder?i can not comprehend how.i know i at times wanted to hurt the "normal"kids who bullied me,but kill?it seems so alien.what happened?here is my insight.....he felt completely swallowed,he could no longer live up to what he though everyone needed.in fact,because of his problems,he had hit his limit in adapting to our normal world....he panicked,no help was given.but,as i have stated,he is not alone,millions of families with autistic children will tell you they get thrown under the bus around this time.no help,no way to help there child adapt and move on.so,when he changed to killer,i lose all sense of pity for him,he deserves none.the lesson shoud be we need to help this kids.learn the transition from child,teenager to adult.because we are losing some of the smartest people there is.